Deteriorate
by corriandar
Summary: Edward; a recovering suicidal is forced to see the young psychologist; Bella Swan. Can she help him find happiness amongst the madness? AU


**AN: This is a bit OOC and Bella is a few years older than Edward. And Carlisle is supposed to be a bit of a… dickhead. -__- I'm sorry, I had to have people who didn't understand Edward though.**

**This was rushed! Not the best…**

**In all honesty, I don't actually like Twilight that much, but I felt like I needed to write something different to what I have up... haha :|**

**If anyone's interested, I'm writing a Death Note fic :D**

**Summary: Edward; recovering suicidal is forced to see the young psychologist; Bella Swan. Can she help him find happiness amongst the madness?**

**Alternate Universe**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any characters associated with it.**

**Review, pretty please?**

--

"Edward?"

He glanced at the old grandfather clock in the dimly lit room, if it was correct; then there was still 20 minutes of torture for him to endure. He would have gladly done anything to be anywhere else but this room, and away from the petite woman who was intent on questioning him.

"Edward, can you please speak to me?"

Slowly, Edward Cullen turned to face the psychologist, his golden eyes darkening as he was forced back into a reality that he so desperately wished to ignore. The young psychologist was staring at him patiently, waiting for a response. She could have only been a couple years older than him at the most.

"I'm speaking to you right now." He deadpanned, forcing him to converse with a complete stranger about his 'problems' wasn't going to help anyone. And the girl didn't look professional, she was short, had mousy brown hair, dark eyes and looked as plain as the wood on his kitchen table. Nothing special.

"You do know you're paying $140 per session? Your foster parents said-"

He cut the young woman off, "I don't really care what they said. I never asked for counseling." He swiveled his chair around so that he could glare at the small pot plant on the desk, this girl was really beginning to grate on his nerves. "This session is useless." He said monotonously, it was statement, a fact. And Edward was _never _wrong.

"Ah, you may think that. But in reality, it's _you _who's making it useless. So I will ask you again, it's your choice if you want to reply or not. Why did you do it?"

Reality; there it was again, that stupid little word that seemed so intent on tormenting him. He absolutely hated it.

"Why did I do what?" He knew exactly what he'd done; it was the reason why he was here in the first place.

Bella Swan; the young psychologist, frowned slightly at Edwards' reply, she leaned forward from her position behind the wooden desk, "Your suicide attempt, I need to know why you did it, I want to help you, Edward." He voice turned soft towards the end, because in all honesty, she really did want to help the troubled youth.

Unfortunately, Edward wasn't going to relent.

"It was an accident." He bit out through clenched teeth; it was half true at least. When he had taken the bottle of pills, he hadn't really cared whether he woke up or not, all he knew was that he needed out; **now**. Some people had called it an act purely based on impulse; those were also the same people that encouraged the idea of his need for professional help. His foster parents hadn't disagreed.

Bella stared him dead in the eye, almost like a challenge, Edward glared right back into her chocolate brown ones, "Edward, I don't believe it was an accident. But first of all, I need to know _why._ Are you willing to tell me?" she reached out to grab a mint from the lolly jar that was placed beside her; desperate times called for desperate measures.

Edward continued to glare at her; he couldn't believe the stupid woman was eating sweets during the middle of a counseling session. It was so unprofessional, it was ignorant, it was-

And then she had the audacity to offer him one.

"Mint?" she questioned, a gentle smile on her perfect pink lips, perhaps a little bit of sharing would help him open up. She held the white mint in her palm, shoving it directly under his nose. She grinned encouragingly, ignoring the look of disgust that had fallen upon Edwards pale face.

He remained silent; if Bella hadn't known any better she could've sworn that he hadn't heard her. She sighed in defeat, "Edward, you're going to have to learn to accept help sooner or later." He stared at her blankly, "You just offered me a mint, was that supposed to be some form of professional help? I don't know about you, but I just don't see it working." His expression was utterly serious.

This was pointless.

"You know what I mean." Of course he did, but there was no fun in admitting it, was there? It was much easier to turn this whole ordeal into some sort of… game. A game that he probably wouldn't win anyway.

"Edward, we only have a few minutes left. Are you sure there isn't anything you'd like to tell me?"

Edward pretended to consider her words for a moment, staring wistfully up at the cobweb coated ceiling, he appeared very deep in thought. "I…" he whispered, feigning that he was struggling for words. "Go on, Edward. There's no reason to fear." Bella coaxed him gently, eager to get a confession out of him, the sooner the better. "I just want… to say…" his voice was quiet, as if building up to a crescendo, Bella listened carefully, recording each word he spoke onto her sheets of paper.

"I don't like sweets."

Bella froze instantly, her hand poised above the paper, pen still firmly gripped. She certainly hadn't been expecting that one. "Really?" annoyance seeping into the tone of her voice, she had written all that down for nothing. Edward nodded in confirmation, a victorious smirk on his stupidly beautiful face, she just wanted to smack it right off him. She grabbed the sheets and crumpled them up, shoving them in the bin beside her chair, "I never would've guessed." She muttered sarcastically.

Edward was still sporting a mocking smirk by the time he stood up; he was tall, very tall. He walked over to the door in the corner of the room; the door that led to freedom, to escape, and unfortunately to his newly acquired foster family.

"Well Edward, I'll see you next week, don't forget."

"What?" Was she kidding? He'd been told he'd only have to endure one session, damn it. There was no way in hell he was coming back to this wretched place. He narrowed his golden eyes as they focused on Bella; _she _was the one to blame for this.

She smiled evilly, showing a row of pearly white teeth; she was going to get some answers out of this boy, and soon. "Don't forget!" she shouted from behind her wooden desk, she was rewarded with a slam of the office door.

She was definitely looking forward to next time.

--

"Hi Edward, I'm glad you could make it today." She smiled at him, the same happy curve of the lips as last time, surprisingly, it was real. "Will you answer my questions today?" He nodded in reply, complying with her wishes just to keep her quiet.

Edward was about to sit down, when suddenly a tall blonde man stepped into the room, he had a confident air about him, a lack of vulnerability.

The man took a position standing behind Edward, barely a few inches taller than the younger of the pair, "I'm terribly sorry if he" the man gestured at Edward "was a little… uncooperative last week. You see, his mother recently died. She was a single parent, it must have been very hard on poor Edward, seeing as he's only 15 years old." Carlisle; Edwards' adoptive father told Bella Swan; apologizing for the teenager's behavior as if he actually had the _right _to.

"I'm 17." Edward corrected him, biting the edge of his lip hard enough to draw blood; he wouldn't have been surprised if his foster family couldn't even get his name right. Perhaps they'd start calling him Edmund, or maybe something entirely different.

"That's great, Edward. But listen, Bella, if you ever have any trouble with him, I'll know what to do." And with that, Carlisle left the room, perfect smile perfectly in place. Edward matched his footsteps to the sound of his own thudding heart, he prayed for it to fall dead silent; into cardiac arrest.

He wasn't nearly as lucky.

He could feel Bella's keen eyes on him, probing at his mind, she knew, she fucking knew. He couldn't hide anymore. Damn Carlisle.

"So, it's your mother?"

Shut up.

"Really now, it's all to do with your mother, isn't it?"

Shut up.

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

"Shut up!"

He slammed his fist down at the last comment, angry tears beginning to form in his eyes, he screwed them shut tightly, willing himself to disappear. He wanted to run away as far as possible. To get the images of his mother out of his head.

Mother.

God, he missed her so much, why did she leave? Why? Why? Why?

He sank to the cold floor, his heart beating like crazy, heavy thudding in his ears and blocking out all other sounds. His eyes were screwed shut; he was blind to the madness around him, the heat surrounding his body, suffocating him. He couldn't breathe, but that didn't mean he wanted to. He never wanted to wake up.

"Fuck!" he shouted, feeling everything come crashing down. He prayed to god that he wasn't having another panic attack, not now, he couldn't be, he refused to allow it.

He couldn't hear the sound of his own choking; ragged gasps for oxygen, and Bella calling out to him. He couldn't feel the warm arms wrapping themselves around him, or the small body that was pressing against his chest, nor could he feel the soft breath against his neck, telling him everything would be alright.

He sat in his own silence, trapped within his own mind, replaying memories of things he couldn't even remember. He had tried so hard to block out the thoughts, the memories, what good did it do?

"Shhh… it's ok. You'll be alright." Bella hushed against his messy bronze hair, her soft hands clasped protectively around his shoulders.

And for once, he actually felt safe.

God knows why.

Bella had taken to gently rocking him, whispering reassurances into his ear, promising him that she'd be there. It was in her nature to help, to put others above herself. "It's alright." And at that moment, it was. Everything was going to be alright.

She cupped his face in her warm palms, moving his head so he was facing her, "You're beautiful." She whispered, as though in sudden realization. From his topaz eyes, to his chiseled jaw, he looked like a God. She pressed her lips gently against his forehead; a chaste kiss. He was so fucking perfect, yet so messed up. How could he be both at the same time?

"Can I… kiss you?" he whispered softly, although he had calmed down, he had no wishes to return to reality. He moved so that his long fingers were tangled in her brown hair, pulling her face down so their noses were touching. Bella nodded quietly, closing her chocolate eyes and leaning in towards him, their lips touched softly, just skin pressing against skin, she smiled against his lips. She pulled back after a moment, caressing his cheek in gentle reassurance, her other arm pressed against his shoulder to support her weight.

Bella moved down so that her head was resting against Edwards' chest, she glanced up at him for permission, he allowed it. He petted her hair, pale fingers gliding through silky strands of brown locks, a small smile on his angelic face as he did so. They rested in the same position for what felt like hours, neither wanting to leave.

"So… where does that leave us?" Edward whispered quietly, not wanting to ruin the comfortable silence. He didn't even know the girl very well, but having her hug him, to protect him was more than what anyone else had ever done for him. He just needed to know that someone was there.

"I… I'm not supposed to do this with clients, surely you know that?" she whispered back in reply, her lips curved down in a frown. "But… I _might_ be able to make an exception for you." Edwards face brightened up at this, she was willing to do that for him?

Bella grinned and nodded, reaching out for a pen and piece of paper; she quickly scrawled something down and then passed the sheet on to Edward. "What's this?" he asked, curiosity evident in his gaze, he hadn't even looked at the paper yet though. "It's my number, silly." She giggled, "Hopefully yours too." Edward wrote his down slowly, writing each number down in perfectly neat order.

They exchanged papers as soon as they stood up, Bella shyly pulling Edward forward into a warm embrace, "Your time's up now Mr. Cullen. I hope to hear from you soon." Edward agreed.

As Edward walked out the room, he knew that not everything was going to be perfect; sunshine and kittens, but at least he knew he had someone to talk to.

--


End file.
